But not like this :(

Confession (pengakuan)

Hm, temenku aja ga sampe sejam uda nyariin, tapi kamu? Tau kok kamu sibuk, tapi sehari lo ada ratusan menit buat bisa sekedar nanyain aku........

Kamu pasti mikir apa sih, gabisa ta temenan biasa, ribet amat. Ya kamu pasti males kalo sampai gara-gara ini aku jadi menjauh. Soalnya ini bakal ngerugiin kamu karena kamu pengen punya teman banyak buat network kamu

Aku gatau kudu gimana.
Aku wes biasa sih bertepuk sebelah tangan. Kamu jangan kasian ma aku, aku gapapa kok, itu resiko sendiri nyukain kamu, tapi aku seneng bisa belajar dari kamu
Maafin yaa. Tapi perlu waktu buat bisa biasa lagi ke kamu. Kamu tau kalo aku tipikal cewek yang gabakal lupain orang

Tapi.....how about my dreams?
Because you are all i see
Kita bakal kemah bareng kan like we have planned
And you let me lie on your shoulder
Aku uda beli baju. Tanya aja semua temenku.
Aku kalo beli baju mesti tanya ini cocok gak buat ke alam. Soalnya pergi ma kamu itu yg bener2 aku inginin
Aku takut. Aku takut ngajak-ngajak kamu pergi lagi. Soalnya kayaknya kamu ga nyanan ma aku kayak pas terakhir kita ngejus. Berapa kali sih aku bilang kangen ke kamu. Berapa kali sih aku sok-sokan ngilang. Kamu pasti ga nyadar dan nganggep serius. Pas kamu bilang kamu pengen sweater, aku seneng banget soalnya berarti aku ada alesan beliin kamu sweater biar bisa ketemu kamu.

Pasti kamu ga nyangka bikin cewek sampe kayak gini. Alay bgt uda kayak anak smp. Tapi mah gimana lagi, aku emang bukan tipe org yg bisa nyampein perasaanku dengan baik. Malu aku belajar psikologi tapi gabisa manage perasaan.

Hm kamu gak sayang aku ta?
Aku tau perasaan itu fluktuatif
Aku tau pelukmu di jatimfair uda ga bisa dikorelasiin sama perasanmu sekarang. Tapi apa kamu sama skali ga ngrasa nyaman saat itu? Apa lagi-lagi hanya aku sendiri yang rasa.
Apa kamu perlu menunggu aku untuk menyerah baru kamu bisa merasakannya?

Jika memang ku yang harus mengerti
Mengapa cintamu tak dapat ku miliki
Adakah diriku singgah di hatimu
Dan bilakah kau tau...kau lah yg ada di hatiku 

---------------
Indri ceritanya mau ngoment post ini tapi gapunya akun, malah dikirim line. Duh terharu :'3

He peng... sudah poo galaunya. kamu lo ga capek ta setiap hari mikirin dia yang mungkin ga mikirin kamu balik. Dia lo care ta sama kamu? nyadarooo... kamu lo uda dibuat sedih berapa kali sama dia?? pernah ta dia minta maaf? inisiatif buat ngasih kabar aja kalo nggak dipancing ya nggak ngasih. Mau sampek kapan kamu kayak gini terus? kamu lo nunjukin kalo kamu itu lemah kalo nggak sama dia. Tapi liaten apa yang sudah dia lakuin ke kamu? gak sebanding sama apa yang kamu lakuin ke dia. Aku emang gatau gimana perasannya dia yang sebenernya ke kamu makanya aku marah, tapi aku tau dan bisa ngrasain apa yang kamu rasain dan itu juga buat aku marah. kenapa? biasanya Venta yang mesti ngguyu, mbanyol, konyol lah kok sekarang jadi sedihan,galauan,baperan. Aku kasian sama kamu, Peng wes Peng... Sadarooo wes ndang bangkit ojok lemah terus. Eman lek kamu tetep merjuangin dia tapi gak ngrubah apapun... Mau sampek kapan kayak gini terus? peng aku sama anak-anak suayang lo sama kamu. Kita lo ngrasa akhir-akhir ini kamu berubah :( sudahan ya sedihnya :( bawa kecerian buat kita peng :) Love you dari aku, Nelil, Dini, Sabil, Novita sama semua orang yang sayang sama kamu ❤

Looking into my eyes

 

my playlist

Im hanging on a line here baby

I need more than ifs and maybes

Even when all lights are fading

Even then, your hope was shaking

Im here holding on.

I still drown in your love

And drink till im drunk

Now here we are, so close yet so far

The world is ours if you want it

You can take it, if you just take my hand

You were all i want

But not like this :(

And im here to sing about the things that matter

I'm all out of faith

This is how I feel

Illusion never changed into something real

I'm wide awake and I can see the perfect sky is torn

Im not fine, Im in pain, its harder everyday

Someday i promise ill be gone

And i might sing this song

You're a little late, I'm already torn. Torn

And i dont think that i have strenght to let you go

All you had to do was stay, had me in the palm of your hand

Cause if you want to keep me

You gotta love me harder

You only know you loved her when you let her go

And all that i've done, is it ever enough?

Mungkin sekarang ini aku memang belum pantas untuk disayang dan mungkin semua hal yang kulakukan selama ini belum cukup untuk membuatku berarti di matamu. Aku masih harus belajar lagi 😃

20 things about me if you have a time to read

1. The first important one to be mentioned is......i call my self as QUOTES FREAK! that's because im crazy at collecting stuff that contain any quotes, anything about quotes. so thankful for we heart it, tumblr, and pinterest to satisfy my desire

2. Please tell me if you like taylor swift's/1D's/secondhad serenade's/simple plan's song.... because i love those shits so much. i just cant take it out from  my playlist

3. Talking much about sweet romantic things, use feeling a little bit more than normal people, easily affected

4. Pro-stalker. care too much when find someone attractive

5. Sometimes over-reacting, ga bisa diem and once called as "Alive Radio" by pak bemo because i was talking non stop all the way home -_-

6. Gampang nerima saran/ajakan, makanya jadi labil, nurutan, rada ga konsisten, moody, dan gampang lupa kalo lagi mara -_-

7. Oh ya! I have these two bestfriends who accept me as who i am, who critic me slightly when i do something wrong, even at small thing, they always keep and save me :')

8. Suka sungkan ngomong sama orang baru yang keliatan lebi superior, asli minderan. but once get close....i cant stop sharing my story

9. Always wonder about having good relationship, happy family and better life in the future, these things keep me motivated

10. Not born as a leader, but when there is no one to handle it, i'll take the responsibility.

11. Personality profile: Extrovert, Intuitive,  Feeling, Perceiving, have best intelegence score at Intrapersonal & interpersonal.a sanguine-plegmatic (although i wish to be a melancholic)

12. Seriously, i have so many DIY ideas but none of them was done. please, is there somebody who wanna make it with me?

13. Wanna be brave, confident and risk-taker, wanna go out from my comfort zone

14. Want to travel so much, envy sama yang bisa sering jalan-jalan, ajakin aku, please?

15. It’s little bit unimportant, but i will be so glad if i know that you’re geminis. its just like i found my twins. someone who has so many similarity with me. and i will be so comfortable with you just like my own sibling

16. A psychology student, wanna be a conselour to help people solve their problem, eh atau jadi psikolog anak biar jadi ibu yang baik? ato manajer hrd -_-

17. Kadang dibully tapi lebi sering membully, sering  ngrasa bersala abis ngomong ngawur ke orang, lagi brusaha jadi anak baik, maapin ya rek

18. Dream about having cute factory like 'joger' that sell anything about quotes

19. Have a big insecurity with a good looking and well dressed girl. But rather be my true self,  feel comfortable being how i am, try to be the best version of my self

20. At least, im so glad to know people like you all guys, maybe it will be awkward to start conv with me, but actually i'm a warm friend who like share and listen to your story :)

I ALMOST DO

I bet this time of night you're still up.
I bet you're tired from a long hard week.
I bet you're sitting in your chair by the window looking out at the city.
And I bet sometimes you wonder about me.

And I just wanna tell you
It takes everything in me not to call you.
And I wish I could run to you.
And I hope you know that every time I don't
I almost do,
I almost do.

I bet you think I either moved on or hate you
'Cause each time you reach out there's no reply.
I bet it never ever occurred to you that I can't say "Hello" to you
And risk another goodbye.

Oh, we made quite a mess, babe.
It's probably better off this way.
And I confess, babe,
In my dreams you're touching my face
And asking me if I wanna try again with you.
And I almost do.

I hope sometimes you wonder about me.

They didn't even know!

People say we shouldn’t be together
We're too young to know about forever
But I say they don’t know what they talkin’ about

Cause this love is only getting stronger
So I don’t wanna wait any longer
I just wanna tell the world that you're mine

They don’t know about the things we do
They don’t know about the I love you’s
But I bet you if they only knew
They will just be jealous of us
They don’t know about the up all night’s
They don’t know I've waited all my life
Just to find a love that feels this right
Baby they don’t know about us

Just one touch and I was a believer
Every day it gets a little sweeter
It’s getting better
Keeps getting better all the time

They don’t know how special you are
They don’t know what you’ve done to my heart
They can say anything they want
Cause they don’t know about us

But I wanna tell them
I wanna tell the world that you're mine <3